670

661. My clock goes from 0 to 60 in 1 minute.
662. Once I was a coke addict. Then I switched to Pepsi.
663. Whenever a friend misappropriately asks about how good his selection of a wife was, my response would be, "She is one extremely beautiful lady with one horribly impaired vision"
664. Oh yeah! You've got three.... My fan has four settings - Slow, Medium, High, and......... OFF!
665. I wonder if Wikileaks has "Santa's naughty and nice list" so that I'd know if I get a gift this Christmas or not.
666. I believe in the dark knight coz only a Mr. Freeze can make a December this frozen.
667. If an atom and its constituents has mass, then I'd hope they had a good Christmas.
668. I had to rip through four layers of a boxed Christmas gift wrapping to find out that my gift was a DVD of Inception.
669. My resolution to stop procrastination is going to start from 2013. Happy 2011 everyone.
670. 2010 is in my top 10 years of the last decade.

660

651. One way to avoid making wrong decisions is by not taking one. But the one problem is that this is also a wrong decision.
652. Today's procrastinators are tomorrows proactivists.
653. The Tamil version of 'Adava Kedavra' would be "Ava Kedakura"
654. Sometimes, life is like a passage through a museum. All you can do is observe the beautiful masterpieces. You cannot touch them.
655. Dear customer support, I would like to first bring to your notice that I am typing this message with my middle finger.
656. FYI - It takes the same amount of energy to change an "energy saving" light bulb as that of a normal light bulb.
657. It's called the human "race". Got no other option but to run for a win.
658. When a ballerina dances on her toes, I just wonder why not hire a taller girl or better, give her heels?
659. At times I feel that my certain mental disability should fetch me parking at the disabled lot.
660. When the doc asked if I knew about my RBC count, I frankly told him that I never knew that they were that smart.

650

641. Some family trees are pretty funny. The academic sibling would now become my academic niece.
642. There's no Z in insomnia.
643. Thorium Indium Potassium my dear Nitrogen Erbium Deuterium.
644. Last week was candy day. Soon it will be turkey day followed by egg-nogg week. And finally there will be ham day. Don't you see why America has a high rate of obesity?
645. I am suffering from post-occupational trauma and boredom.
646. Hope and blame - the two sides of the surviving coin!
647. The biological clock never snoozes.
648. Well at least for the sake of defining character, I've got to do something crazy!
649. The two sensible words that can open a lot of doors in any person's life are push and pull.
650. Gave up to give in.

640

631. Pouring milk in the glass was fine. But pouring orange juice into the cereal bowl just proved that I'm focused in not being focused.
632. Thanks to my mom I don't have the specific skills I needed the most from my dad. Damn genetics!
633. I am a total rascal. People get disappointed if I don't do the wrong thing.
634. Chugging 4 gallons of milk in under a week should qualify milk as a staple food during dissertation work.
635. "Your mama's so fat that she faces an increased chance of a cardiac arrest and type 2 diabetes" - Now ain't this a concerned curse??
636. When life gives you lemons, decode its genome and genetically modify it to produce apples and oranges.
637. I have an open door policy. So opportunity don't knock, just walk right in.
638. To the few dreams that turned into mere lies.
639. Having trouble sleeping to snoring. No worries. Just attach a mouth organ to their face, and they'll wake up the moment they hear the organ blare.
640. Choosing the best answer in life does really suck.

630

621. Here's an idea - Why don't we just stick a note that says "Warning: Subjects in the mirror appear fatter than they appear" and save the tension of lying?
622. The shortest distance between two points is definitely not the shortcut my dad used for driving back in my childhood days.
623. Life is much more fun with strings attached. At least that's what I felt when I bungee jumped.
624. Five fall semesters ago they were hot fresh(wo)men. Now my eyes see them as just teens.
625. Men have an unique ability to forget, while women have the greatest ability to remember.
626. Thanks to all the wee hours of work, my throat is infected and it sounds like an asthma patient blowing the vuvuzela in a freshly mowed pollen field.
627. Considering the time at hand, I'm not entirely utilizing my rights to freak out and get cracked at!
628. Noooh! NO! I'm not getting reeled into that good cop-mom business.
629. Finally.... I've reached the 1 gallon mark of donating blood.
630. I am going to bed coz the girl in my dreams desperately needs an Inception.

620

611. Dedication: To the million hopes that turned into mere lies! Especially her!!!
612. Guess, hypnosis is the only way to cure my Onycophagia.
613. Under a deluge of post-its!
614. Here's an idea - Why don't we just stick a note that says "Warning: Subjects in the mirror appear fatter than they appear" and save the tension of lying?
615. The intermittent flow of flooding exists under confidence.
616. Dance like no ones uploading it in youtube.
617. It is only because of the presence of hell underneath that the density of heaven is light enough to keep it floating in the skies.
618. The past two months has been a real test of the Petronius's Paradox.
619. Getting lost in a Smart car - Not so smart after all!
620. Five fall semesters ago they were hot fresh(wo)men... Now my eyes see them as just teens.

610

601. Shahid Afridi, the youngest player at 19 years announced his retirement from Test cricket today.

602. The reason why most people like Inception is coz it deals with what they like the most - Sleeping!

603. As the juice to squeeze ratio drops below savoring level, you can drop off an experiment.

604. A child needs a good parent. On the other hand, two or more children need a good referee!

605. Too much bickering. Kill with noise.
606. Definitely not an ID 10 T day.
607. The good thing about having an American advisor who knows the game of cricket is that he values a good knock and postpones the early morning individual meeting.
608. Looking through the kaleidoscope inside a submarine makes you believe that you're surrounded and under attack.
609. Women should understand that the first lie a guy says to his girl friend is exactly when he says, "I promise never to lie to you".
610. The hand of darkness, the feet over board, and the beauty of lost slumber - I miss them more!

600

591. It's been nearly a decade and I still remember her lost face. Change has only been an illusion.

592. The worst way of worsening a bad comparative adjective is to substitue the better of a good example with the wrong adjective of best.
593. If todays awesome mood is considered a fuel, I could single handedly end the world energy crisis.
594. The way I stretch holding my bat before facing a cricket ball technically qualifies me as an element bender.

595. The three major food sources for a busy/lazy person are 'canned', 'frozen', and 'take out'. If you get bored with these you can always try boxed sushi for take out.

596. Being nice is not always wise.

597. If anger is represented with fire, then I'm lacking the spark in the most fueled state.

598. If only someone can shout "Ahoy captain. It's time to abandon Hope.", it would be much easier to move on.

599. What are best friends are for, but to inform your parents about their wedding plans before you can do so.

600. A E I O and then comes YOU.

590.

581. The Youngs Modulus of a rule is the reason for which you break it.
582. What part of the word "Unmitigated disaster" didn't you understand?
583. Thanks to jingling keys and remote desktop connection, here are the days when one says, "Whew!! I'm done for the day "in this lab"".
584. An anonymous feeling best explained by the phrase, "Calm as a clam chowder"

585. It's always the one that doesn't count yours really counts!

586. Does your biological clock fail to wake you up early?. No problem. Try our awesome plan of skipping dinner and drinking lots of water. This way you have to wake up either running to the kitchen or to the restroom.

587. Thanks to Donovan, today is commemorated as the national free booze day in the US.

588. Wayne Rooney broke David Blaine's record of doing nothing inside the box for about a month.

589. There are two outcomes of a game. We can win or we can lose. Today we saw the third kind - we can pretty much also fuck up! (Game of UKCC against Gahana CC)

590. And one of the refs said, "I've got three yellows and two reds. Full House in your face!"

580

571. If it wasn't for the law of momentum, I'd be unstoppable.

572. The amount of early bird productive work is interdependent on two factors - The pre-brushing-teeth time and the pre-breakfast-hunger level.

573. The only mistake your boss agrees to your saying is the moment when he hired you.

574. Mango-water melon smoothie. Successful thermal neutralization. Pathetic gustatory response.

575. While texting, cars in front are closer than they appear.

576. And the third pig died of drowning with its bricks, while the siblings remained alive with their sticks and straws.... Everything doesn't work all the time for everyone.

577. I've slept 5 hrs on an average in the past 5 days. That's like an hour more than a day (24 hrs). So don't fuzz about it.
578. What an excreta day!!!!
579. If vision without action is daydream and action without vision is nightmare, then action and vision together is Insomnia!
580. Until tomorrow.......Today continues!

570

561. Don't die trying to live forever.

562. Replying scissors instead of rock might have saved the ticket , when the cop who pulled over me said "Papers".

563. When things turn their back at you, just wind up and kick it in its ass.

564. Oh, the stars so.... many, and the labels so..... complicated - The jumbled state of the current mailbox!

565. Your shark ability makes me the sucker fish. Of course to cling on to.

566. Don't run away from the past, as it is always behind you. But do walk from the past as it can only be behind you.

567. F=ma; You can't force things when all that exists is negative progress/deceleration.
568. I feel like Donald Duck robbed of his nuts by the two dastardly chipmunks.
569. Seems like nucleation started way back in an unnoticed era. The hearts turning into a stone.
570. There is a thin line between learning from the past and ruling over the past! And I've been pointed out that I'm still stuck to the line.

560

551. Eenie meenie miney moe, in which car should I go?? The one with the moon roof!

552. I single handedly made my task manager not responding!
553. I seriously don't know what this is. But a F will only signify it's seriousness.
554. The conscience wants to fly high with its white wings. But it's kept on check by it's forked tail attached to the ground.
555. Cut the trees, build a bunch of apartments, and then name the street with the tree's name. Strange country!
556. A 76 page pdf file providing formatting guidelines for a 12 page grant proposal. Sheesh to NIH grants!
557. Don't be a Hero and don't be you!
558. I call under a state of "eternal dibs".
559. As time passes by, we change so much that we become our own doppelgangers.
560. One generation is growing faster, while the other is growing older faster and we are sandwiched to make slow and steady grown up decisions.

550

541. Laughing your heart out along with kids really high on sugar is a true blessing of a stress buster.
542. Sometimes you have to lose something just because you have fallen for it.
543. Technically, when it sucks, pressure should drop.

544. When you think about the devil all the time, there's no effect in the devil showing up.

545. Shorts and slippers and stars and............... Solvents!

546. Bold bean brained brats!

547. Really low on my suga baby.

548. Technically, when it sucks, pressure should drop!!! :-?

549. We are all bugs in the big windshield of life..... Squish!!!! :D

550. Birds fly in V formation to save energy. I'm wondering does nature also behave in a way that teamwork results in collective laziness?

540

531. A nick in the knee niggles the knight at night!!! Which substitutes an ice pack better - Frozen mixed vegetables/strip of meat??
532. Schrodinger's radioactive cat in the box has eighteen half lives!
533. Desperately in need to figure out the right Zeitgeber!
534. Unfloopy it has to be.
535. Everybody is a nobody to somebody. And also, someone is everyone to none.
536. Life is like a dog sled race. If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes for you!
537. Seomtimes a slap is needed to understand that with one hand one can't clap!
538. As per the signs, I'm standing at the corner of walk and don't walk.
539. MI likey wada pao, CSK likey sambhar. The rest opt for sambhar vada!
540. The high of life doesn't have a tolerance limit.

530

521. I know lots of established scientists and they all no me.
522. The probability of ending being the bad guy is proportional to how good you are.
523. One of the disadvantages of working in an experimental laboratory is to not wear flip flops and shorts on a sunny day.
524. Kaarbon Kamaal Catch!! - "Kiska maal pakda??"
525. Confounding, confusing, compounding, Co-incidents!!!
526. A rhino is just an evolved lazy unicorn.
527. If you are not related, don't overreact.
528. Oh, no not I, I will survive, Oh as long as I know how to experiment, I know I'll stay alive. I've got all my hopes to search, I've got all my ideas to give, And I, I will survive.
529. To err is human. Forgive us now, "Wuman"!
530. Running on reserve in the road less traveled.

520

511. Sometimes you have to lose some to lose some more.
512. If only life can have strategic timeouts as in the IPL.
513. When will my time for a funky chicken dance come?
514. All those carrying a guitar on their pelvis are not Elvis!
515. If the president of America turns out to be a bachelor will there be a zeroth lady post available in language?
516. Things expand when heated. Therefore in summer days are longer. Hence Proved!
517. TGIGF. Thank God it's Good Friday.
518. Three thumbs up pointed to the heart - Dasvidaniya!
519. "Drive like lightning" doesn't mean that you have to hit every tree you can see.
520. Due to family politics, my mafia family had to take "vanvas" at the nearby farmville forest!

510

501. Roses are red, bullets are made of lead. You better agree or get shot dead.
502. To one over zero and beyond.
503. Whats the point in doing so much work in the bio field? Nobody have been even close in solving the aging birthday problem.
504. Is it just me or the entire adult population have trouble opening child proof bottles?
505. When you make others laugh, make sure they don't get stomach pains. But only stomach cramps!
506. Only today I figured it out that by being an insured citizen, I have the right to a free lollipop after every doctors visit.
507. When death calls, forward it to your answering machine.
508. Euphemistically saying, "Do check the mistletoe in the shirt's tail if you don't agree with me"
509. If a cop pulls over for not turning your headlights on, tell him that you are practicing saving energy for Earth Hour.
510. Mogambo ka bhateeja crime master Gogo khush hua.

500

491. The cows of UK eat bluegrass and moo blueeee!
492. As per the third law, "Reactions speak a negative thousand words"
493. Ain't it strange that today celebrates the 100th yr of women's day while men's day is only 11 yrs old? (BTW - this statement doesn't make one a male chauvinist)
494. Look to the left, then to the right, and again to the left and then cross the One-way Street in India!
495. Sitting through the course Fever 101.
496. It might be spring for the buds. But looking at the dress code, it sure does look like summer is here for the kids!
497. When you've got none around, put the blame on the Medulla Oblongata and it's autonomic functions.
498. What would Jerry do without Nibbles? What will I do with my nephew?
499. Cockroaches get up at 12 pm for a midnight snack!
500. Got a cigarette burn in your Tees? No worries. There's always the Nicotine patch to cover it up.

490.

481. An atheist doesn't believe in the concept of balancing sins with good deeds. He believes in the concept of a constant nagging conscience. And the only way he can make it shut up is to make it say, "That's a good deed bud".
482. Running fast on a dry cold wintry day really charges you up........ Electrostatically!
483. Damn you "Sachin"! Everytime I think I've completely turned out to be an atheist, you prove that "Cricket is a religion" and you are "The God"!
484. Only one person recommended pain killers over a dentist. And that person turned out to be my Dad!
485. Babysitting is a combination of timely fun and strategical guerrilla warfare.
486. Interesting. Even the roman numerals for 40 is XL.
487. Round is a shape. Bad is also a shape.
488. Strange country. The first appointment for an emergency surgery is 3 weeks from now. At the same time, they call in people to schedule an appointment for blood donation.
489. If you start hating the people who are racists, does it make you a racist?
490. I used to live in the edge. The place was the southern tip of the peninsula of India.

480.

471. Is it just me or everytime I settle on a chapstick flavor from its multitude of options, Walmart removes it from sale.
472. PhD life is not a job. It's an indenture.... :)
473. Looking at the way I'm using so many deductions, I might actually have more than enough to pay my attorney and bail if I get caught.
474. If this is the UPS guy drop the package at the doorstep, if this is Opportunity, stop knocking. Just barge in, suit yourself and stay till I come.
475. The laws of attraction at the nanoscale is really killing my spirit... Damn these hydrogen bondings.
476. Never extend meetings and never delay happy hours on Fridays.
477. When given an empty elevator and a concentrated task in mind, ppl tend to walk in circles, that too in counter-clockwise direction inside the elevator. So far I know one person who does this.
478. The main problem with having a tooth ache is one can't grit their teeth when in agony.
479. Getting angry releases the enzyme Triptophan hydoxylase, which temporarily reduces IQ. I can't afford it at this situation.
480. The next time some granny pesters you on a family wedding saying, "you're next", remember 'em, and say the same when a family funeral comes. Now that's a lesson well taught.

470

461. Uh Oh! Power nap turned out to be an extended Super power nap. Hope there ain't any Kryptonite waiting for me for the rest of the day.
462. "Working researcher" is a redundancy by nature.
463. Small birdie in the sky, drops poopie in the eye. Don't panic, don't cry. Just be happy that cows can't fly!
464. To err is human. To screw it up occasionally is my motto.
465. As Edison would agree "I am failing coz I haven't found all the 10,000 ways that will not work."
466. The tortoise did win the race. But the hare had a nap and better, got to dream... Nobody loses in reality.
467. Run for your life. The kid in the diaper can fly and has a weapon in his hands.
468. Technically saying, the contents of the egg without it's shell is in fact a "boneless-skinless chicken"
469. Bada bing! Bada Boom! Bada BAZINGAA!
470. When the hair line is in recession and the stomach is affected by inflation, naturally your brain goes into depression.

460.

451. When your advisor works like the flow of a sand clock, you better work like the flow of a level 6 rapid.
452. Please GOD!!! Save me from your followers.
453. Topsy turvy marble garble.
454. If you are allowed to buy multi-packs of Christmas/New Year/Seasons Greetings cards, then I can definitely buy multi-packs of "I love you ONLY" cards for Valentines.
455.On your mark, get set, Go Away!! Shoo Shoo.
456. Hun, you're not fat. It's just that your triesters of glycerol and carboxylic acids with long unbranched aliphatic tails are degrading a little slower than their accumulation.... :D :P
457. I need more desk space to clutter more documents.
458. Hangover is actually heart burn in your head.
459. Done with the to do, and so now dead as a dodo.
460. Music! I need music! Any kinda music! Else, I hear my own brain cells dying on me.

450.

441. "First things first" doesn't mean that it has to be in that precise order.
442. Now a days, I keep a record of all my data. It indicates that I've been working....
443. A dirty book is never dusty.
444. Hey! I do have the right frame of mind. But, I am missing the big picture inside the frame.
445. Laws of realistic attraction - A most liked, light colored shirt always attracts the darkest of the curries.
446. The problem with the fast advancing world is that whenever I make something start working, it turns out to be obsolete.
447. When I get real tired, I use those left over "Roll Over" minutes for a longer nap.
448. There's no point in being pessimistic. It won't work anyway.
449. Pretty darn sure that I was born choking on the silver spoon.
450. Somebody call the CSI team. There seems to be a bloody gory murder pattern written all over my paper draft. And I have a hunch that my advisor could be the murderer with his pen as the murder weapon.

440

431. Seems like Santa and team are having an Arctic Blast for the weekend.
432. With the amount of salt I see on the streets, I bet we can drain the KY river and fill it with Tequila.
433. Lying on my back I'm looking Down on my roof.
434. I decoded the wintry clatter of the teeth using morse code. It meant, "rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-rat..... Brrrrr.... It is cold"
435. The soldier with the green helmet and the red scarf cherishes the sight of liberty.
436. Hey! I do have the right frame of mind. But, I am missing the big picture inside the frame.
437. If I'd agree with you, then we'd both be wrong.
438. If I stayed calm at this chaos that is prevailing all around me, then probably I have not entirely understood the gravity of the situation.
439. My #1 concern was, is and will always be on my #1 preference.
440. Charging Lunar Cells.

430

421. Space, the final frontier. Does it allow the travel of a vacuum cleaners noise? What does the vacuum cleaner suck out of space? These are the questions of captain Krack, to boldly ask questions which no man has asked before.
422. Cloudy with a chance of 'just' balls!
423. The bull has to charge you for the milk you took from his cow.
424. I know its really winter when my root canal trenched molar aches more than the dry itchy skin.
425. SA failed to peel the Onion and so had to cry.
426. The best lesson I learned so far in PhD is 'The reward for a result well obtained is more experiments'
427. Is it rude to suggest "Say Cheese...." to a lactose intolerant poser?
428. The freedom of a coincidental status message usually comes free with doom.
429. It's raining colors.. If you consider white as composed of all colors.
430. Seems like the line between genious and insanity got erased in transition as I've turned into a Mad Scientist.