420.

411. The difference between a jackass and a smartass is not education but perception.
412. Weather warning: Dense fog predicted in all parts of my brain. Please procced with caution.
413. There are 3 kinds of cold winter days - The gentle and moist "French Kiss", the passionate "Lip Biter" and finally the "Vampire's Thirst" which sucks the life out of you!!
414. Strange! Even the world is bipolar.... Could this be a reason for the (climate) swings?
415. There are definitely some rare moments when I have the voice of reason while my girl friend gives the murmur of excuse.
416. Most interesting character of the year - "I don't like to wear the hood in winter coz my shadow makes me look like a dickhead"
417. "We are a big bank and so can't fail." It's like saying I'm too fat to die.
418. An easy way to uplift your Christmas spirit is by contacting the other three festive spirits 'Rum, Vodka and Scotch' - mixed in your eggnog.
419. Wings n strings and all those things - Tampons "Surprise me"
420. Some people drink coffee in the morning to kick start their brain and jump start their colon.

410

402. Futuristic goals seem blurry while immediate goals look scary.
403. I am what I am without the world inside me.
404. Thanks for giving us the holiday of Thanksgiving. No job for everyone.
405. Oh awesome native Americans. Thanks for giving us your continent... Bang!!!! (Now where is the turkey???)
406. Theory of psycho thermo electrification: When a *cool* guy meets a *hot* girl, there is an obvious *generation of a spark of electricity*.
407. Nobody took the job of being 'me'. So I took it as a challenge and am doing good so far.
408. I doubt, therefore I might be.
409. The best way to shock a girl is to switch the digital weigh balance from Kgs to lbs.
410. There is always a blue moon for those having color blindness..... Well in my case, it's always been "once in a viridian moon".

401

391. Certain days I believe that I woke up upside down coz I have smelly feet and a runny nose.
392. Somebody hit the top left key of my life-keyboard.
393. At first industries prepared more "Artificial" stuff with ease. Then its pollution made many go "Color Blind". So now, people have switched over to "Green Chemistry". And that my fellow colleagues, is the reason why "The grass is always greener on the other side".
394. If I forget things in a flash, does it still count as 'having a photographic memory'?
395. Be shy, else be sly.
396. My ability to remember the name of important people as I shake their hands is slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through fevicol.
397. At times of blind confusion, life throws you lessons such as "Stop staring at her beauty". I wish these lessons were "non-braile" in language.
398. The single most irritating phrase you can hear from a woman is "Of-course! Re-calculating..." (Single most irritating word would be "Whatever")
399. Notice to all hopeful people: Till the current recession improves, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off everyday from 4-8 pm to save electricity.
400. The secret to the reason women falling for me on a regular basis is my new French perfume. It is called "Le Chloroforme en Kerchiefe".
401. If I own a mobile alcohol shop, I'd name it as "Mobilol - We deLIVER"

390

381. If there are 22 people and all your have is 7 bananas to feed them, then serve them a banana Pi(e).
382. If the world around you doesn't suck, then you'd be floating in space..... :P
383. I am one in a million kind of guy. Now, that's exactly the problem being an Indian - There are 1400 more guys like me in the competition.
384. It might look like I'm doing nothing. But, at the cellular level, I'm really quite busy.
385. Seriously, if the world around you doesn't suck, then you'd be floating in space.
386. Wanna save hundreds of dollars on car insurance? Then, flee the scene of the accident.
387. Back home, I've got my own lie detector. I call her 'Mommy'.. The upgraded version will be named 'Honey'.
388. Unsure of ending something with a full stop? Better go with multiple full stops. This way at least you'll have a pause rather than an end. "..............."
389. Honesty might be the best policy. But I guess I'll stick with insanity. It always works before the jury.
390. A pessimistic man feels that all women are bad. I, like an optimist just hope so.

380

372. Life on earth is expensive. But, the good fact is, it comes with a free annual trip around the Sun!
373. I am neither a cat person nor a dog person. I am a rat person! The lab rat kinda person! ;)
374. Concentration is what you get when you work in an orange juice factory.
375. I haven't even started to think about procrastinating.
376. I am the kind of guy who fills the FUN in dysfunctional. Or is it functional? Guess I do in both.
377. The biggest market target for chewing gums has to be 'students who try to remain awake in classes'. Interesting that not one ad is based on this concept.
378. As it is always said - "Think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram"
379. Night life sucks - Breeding blood thirsty bed bugs sucking the life out of me at nights.
380. Can anyone lend me the owners manual for a girl friend? Mine's echoing a terrible whining noise..

371

361. When I tried to take care of loose ends, it turned out to be things with strings attached.
362. Traveling at the speed of life the collision with people is bound to start a reaction.
363. Walk it! Breathe it! Fricken Marinate in it!
364. Sorry that my memory fails most times. I am no Rainman by any chance.
365. My fermi brain has pico knowlege of the nano world out there which means I've got giga issues to face against.
366. Flash of memory so gustfully blew; a wail of child so echoingly flew... It was his intermittent hell.
367. Close the frame or doze the flame. Which one will happen first?
368. Fat Alan Harper would make the right substitute for the Joker (Heath Ledger).
369. Close the frame or douse the flame. Which one will happen first?
370. Guile of a mindless heart so invariably enchanting.......
371. When are they gonna invent a phone with a breath analyzer lock feature in it?

360.

351. Strest - Stressful rest when you get be with your parents during your pre settling years...
352. Closure before departure is singular.
353. The gift of sadness is solitude while the curse of depression is loneliness.. Choose wisely.
354. There are times when one knows nothing is going to change. Then, you have no other option but to believe that it might.
355. Your Honor! I'll be in the corner.
356. An optimist defines his endurance against suffering as patience.
357. Welcome to the Venus world of women Mr. Martian.
358. It's like Nadal not in Wimbledon. ADV Federer.
359. Nomu rui.
360. When you tie loose ends do you end up having strings attached?

350

341. The good thing that happened to him was that he fell in love again.
342. The bad thing that happened to him was that he fell in love with the same girl again and again.
343. The worse thing that happened to him was that he fell so hard and deep in love that he hurt himself pretty bad.
344. The worst thing that ever happened to him was that the girl never knew about his love for her.
345. I am not in IPL coz I am a slow medium pace batsman.
346. Somethings never change even when luck comes by or runs out.
347. Strange!! How you bump into things that keep you rooted to the wrath of life.... :-?
348. Some paintings never dull out. The light is *offered* to exist all the time like the sun. :)
349. The absence of signs is the presence of THE sign.... :o
350. Mummy cheese, daddy decoction, brother cappuccino, I coffee, sister in law milk, nephew milkshake. The daily dairy family.

340

331. Always account for variable change....
332. If finding the needle in the haystack is a tough job, then try finding the needle in the stack made of needles alone.
333. If you can't break the ice, try drowning it.
334. If by any chance I start a vacuum cleaner company, then it'll be named as "Life" with the punch line "Sucks big time".
335. Why ask the question "Why?"? How to explain "How?"? Then, what about "What?"?
336. Destiny is a lie. There are only choices to take/miss. And life is governed by the missed choices the most.
337. Four rejects is a dump.
338. Kikin butts... Takin names.
339. Some paintings never dull out. The light is offered to exist all the time like the sun.
340. There was one person he always listened to. Will he even listen to at least her voice again.

330

324. The first straight 'A' my nephew might get would definitely be in his naptime class in kindergarden.
325. Woman pants are provided zippers for easy removal of pants. Now that's pragmatic insight rather than supportive/perverted thought.
326. Technically saying, at times I too suffer from Takotsubo cardiomyopathy.
327. When the night's young and the mood is good, the best thing to do is to SLEEP before the light takes your heart away.
328. Physically tired - you will sleep. Emotionally tired - u can't sleep.
329. Judge Mental....
330. Futile attempts of chirpiness pecked beaks.

323

313. I notice extreme opposition to the developement of roads in the States. Coz everytime I go through a construction zone, some bugger puts up the sign "END CONSTRUCTION".. Jeez... I wonder what his problem is??
314. He who laughs last din't quite understand the joke.
315. No cliff can be climbed, if it does not have cracks to hold on to.
316. In my defense..... Screw it!!! It's better I spree like an olympic drug tester.
317. Many an odd-man-out makes a set of odd men.
318. '.' is end. '..........' is continuation. Sheesh!! PUNctuations!!
319. The exit came earlier than I had expected.
320. Phunny Slang: A contorted tongue can mean "I love natural beauty" to "I love natural booty".
321. Phobie phyllus - Love for Fright that keeps you Charged up.
322. Interesting, Stupid, Strange! I don't know how to call this - 'I can write a two page blog post in about 15 mins. But it takes about 30 mins on an average to just pen a quarter page introduction for a technical paper'.
323. The Full Moon is a reminder that once it wasn't prettier... In fact it will never be....

312

301. Personal prejudice always obscures the truth...
302. You are the rising sun in a parched desert. You are the rising moon in a high tide cave. You are the shooting star in a rare atmosphere planet. You are everything wrong at the right place. :P
303. I wanna sue (and not sew) that button. (My reaction to the movie Coraline)
304. Burf'in in the cold wave. Surf's up
305. If only my roomie can yap to the bothering bed bugs, I'd sleep happy.
306. Chicken soup for the sick soul.
307. You can't kick the bucket unless you start swinging those legs.
308. The universe always has a way to get back at you to tell, "You can't escape"
309. I know my lovely exception when I'm the disappointed rule. (She's just not that into you)
310. Daniel, can you help my Sam? (Love Actually excerpt).
311. This fever came back like an unwanted relative.
312. The cross, the rectangle, the two circles - Hauntingly driving....

300

293. Every now and then, some stranger compliments my driving skills. They usually leave a little note on the windscreen which says, "Parking Fine".
294. The linear increase in the number of sorted journal files, is directly proportional to the exponential decrease in the amount of desk space available, for a short-period, power nap.
295. Who is Barney Webb?
296. There are memories, and there is a defining frozen memory. I have one too and it happened as I walked out.
297. What I do (childishly) is what I miss the most.
298. Gut feels a Tug from now on.
299. Frozen in time, the memory of not freezing chills me to the bone.
300. Arms crossed holding the many few, the eyes froze with a severity of life. And I walked out freezing the moment that would change my life.... (What I achieve will be still lost)

292

285. The only thing I am doing wrong is doing nothing.
286. The winning loser fails fast, clean and with pride.
287. Poori mein bhara channa, Ramu churaya mera khaana.
288. Duracell bunny de-ENERGIZEd.
289. And there has to be a level which is supposed to be easy...
290. And the search for the OFF switch goes on and on, and on, and on......
291. There is a good difference between 'being IN her back' & 'being ON her back'.
292. Ashed down angel wings and iced up devil horns... No sweat if your conscience does not speak.

284

277. I had seven roommates in my old house. That's exactly how I learned dancing. By experiencing a certain amount of pressure and waiting for the loo.
278. What lies between faith and chance is a lead salad of travesty.
279. What part of the inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote didn't you understand?
280. The bungee cord snapped at the wrong time. Too bad. Now he is falling 'forever' into the chasm of her lips edgy dimple...
281. Small flurries in dim light is like 'Raining Stars".
282. Ahoy! ‘tis frozen deserrrrrrt be awaits fer the advenchurrrrrous Captain Jack Wildcat. Yer wanna be accompanyin me white pearrrrrrl an huntin fer me happy pirates meal? Arrrrr!!
283. All that glitters in this weather is ONLY ice. A heaven gifted ice rink to play as far and as long as one wishes.
284. The most reliable and fastest and shortest route GPS are the auto and taxidrivers back in the busy cities of India.

268. What bridges a freshman's interests, and a research advisers hopes? A PhDians 'ass on the stove' effort to get an apt 'novel' project to satisfy the innocence of the student and the expectation of the faculty.
269. Men are from Earth. Women are.... "Duh!" also from Earth. Deal with it or get screwed.
270. I wish I was color blind. This way I'd always be wrong about 'the grass on the other side'
271. If memories are grains of sand, then I'm a sand clock. Hah!! Now I know, why I flip at odd but rare events.
272. 16 digits - You win. Cvv Number - I win. Now let's toss that credit card - plastic money era.
273. It will change coz you'll be changed by then. That's how life works.
274. Can 'all-nighters' be added as part of technical skills in a resume?
275. There's no point complaining about the sandpaper chillness. Just take it in your spine and convert those brrrrrs into jitters of laughter.... Brrrrr hehhehehehehehahahahahaha haha heheheha hahahaha
276. Some of my brightest days start with the word black (not the coffee, you workaholics..)